After ‘that’ incident in the White House was broadcast on the Friday evening news, shocked didn’t really seem to go far enough to describe how many of us were feeling.
Nevertheless for egotistical, high control leaders who are determined to get their outcome through dominance and fear, this sort of behaviour is unfortunately not unusual.
According to the Harvard Business Review, 30% of people have been subject to bullying in the workplace and from the outset, what can be particularly challenging is that identifying bullying for what it is, isn’t always straightforward.
Making someone deliberately feel as though they are in the wrong, particularly when there is an imbalance of status and power – effective leaders consistently take responsibility for how they make people feel, whether there was a deliberate intention or not, regularly checking in on impact felt versus impact intended.
Even if you took the generous view that those involved are very different people with very different values, as many others have now done, Stephen King, the author, called out what happened in the Oval Office directly as bullying saying ‘A man who adheres to his principles will always be incomprehensible to people who don’t have any.’
So how might CALM help if you feel you are being bullied at work?
C is all about connection and purpose – and it can feel like having a strong sense of purpose and the courage of your convictions can backfire when the bully comes after you for it. Remember that the bully is most likely triggered by deep rooted fear and insecurity in themselves. Secretly they would love to have the same sense of conviction that you do and it’s possible that could be at the root as to why they have now turned on you. Do not suffer in silence – it’s really important you share what’s happening with people you trust to help you understand, process it and recognise it for what it is so you can decide what to do next.
A is all about mindset. Unfortunately here, bullies can be very effective at tapping into the narratives we have about ourselves that are the most negative and destructive. They can be quite adept at picking up on our biggest fears about ourselves and then using them against us – hitting those raw nerves where we are at our most vulnerable. This is why working proactively to develop a resilient mindset is important – building awareness (and acceptance) of both our positive and negative thoughts and feelings so we can own them and understand them.
L is all about energy. If you feel you are being subjected to bullying, it’s critical to remember that this can be an exhausting and overwhelming time. Make sure you build in time and space to help your body and mind reset and restore itself. Tap into the people and activities that nourish and restore you to help you build your energy reserves until you are able to resolve the negative situation or context you are in more permanently.
M is all about bringing about change sustainably. If you are being bullied, know that this will change and you will move through this. Drawing on the support of those around you, you do have the resources inside to build a path out of this situation, even if it may not feel like it right now. Take small steps to move forward constructively and seek help earlier rather than later. There are lots of people out there who can support you.
Calm In A Box partners with businesses, teams and leaders to help them perform well through change.
We have developed our CALM philosophy and toolkit to facilitate focused and proactive work on culture, mindset and behaviour change programmes so leaders and teams can be well, to do well.
Accelerating successful transformation of all types, without the struggle, we’ve worked with global brands and growing SMEs who are passionate about supporting their people through change for better results.
We provide value in a range of ways through our CALM product ecosystem including consultancy, workshops, coaching and free digital learning on the CALM hub.
Don’t forget CALMfest 2025 is now open to organisations and teams. A group ticket will get you and your people unlimited access to our online festival of events, activities and challenges, raising funds for Mind during Mental Health Awareness Week, 12-16 May.
If you’d like to chat with us, we’re always up for an online coffee. Book a slot with us here – drop us an email hello@calminabox.co.uk
