Total joy arrives in the form of a What’s App voice note: my best and oldest friend is getting married.
I am beyond happy for her and replay the message to my family around the breakfast table. A tear or two might have been shed.
Then the limbic part of my brain kicks in and starts to run fear inducing circles around me.
The wedding is to be in Jordan – somewhere I’ve never been before, in a place which looks very close to the West Bank and the Syrian border.
The FCO guidelines are not to travel within 3km of the Syrian border. I quickly realise I don’t know how to measure that on google maps.
I look at my little one and as ever, I’m not sure I want to leave her behind but also know it’s probably not a trip for her.
The news headlines and images of a war torn, terrorist filled Middle East roll around my head ad infinitum.
There are ten weeks to go to the wedding so should I stay, or should I go?
I went. And it was one of the best days of my life. One I’ll remember forever.
Here’s how CALM got me through the fear.
The C of CALM, Connect with Me is all about meaning and purpose, building deep connections with others to more closely align yourself with what really matters. I knew being part of this, wherever it was, was incredibly meaningful and important to me and to my friend and our history together. It was a one off opportunity to show up for someone I love very much. And through a number of connections with direct experience of Jordan, I started to learn that the news images were only a snapshot of reality there. It’s actually a place I would be safe and where life very much goes on as normal. All of the Arabs we met were incredibly warm, hospitable and kind.
The A of CALM, All of Me Matters is focused on developing mastery of our minds rather than our minds having mastery over us. This was a big one! And there were a few occasions where my mind very nearly talked me out of going, reminding me of all the things that could and would go wrong. One of the biggest learnings around anxiety is to face in to what you are most afraid of. When your fears aren’t realised – and in fact, the very opposite becomes true – it’s fantastic brain training.
The L of CALM, Let Me Rest is all about managing your energy effectively. I knew I’d need a good amount of downtime during the trip (especially as my limbic brain was spent jumping up and down so much!) As the anxiety sufferer knows, when you’re doomlooping, it’s completely exhausting, so I made sure I didn’t pack too much in and had a good balance of activity and rest built in to my time there.
The M of CALM, Motivate Me is focused on implementing change in a sustainable way. Key here is breaking things down into small steps. This came in really handy during the travel which was most anxiety inducing. I just kept focused on the next part of the journey rather than getting carried away and consumed by the whole trip. I also had a great support team around me, reassuring me along the way that all would be ok.
It was a beautiful day. I’m really glad I went. Thanks CALM.
Our Learn, Lead, Transform – 1% CALMer membership is open to new members this January – we’d love you to come and join us. We can help you make more impact with less effort.
Calm In A Box partners with businesses, teams and leaders to help them perform well through change.
We have developed our CALM philosophy and toolkit to facilitate focused and proactive work on culture, mindset and behaviour change programmes so leaders and teams can be well, to do well.
Accelerating successful transformation of all types, we’ve worked with global brands and growing SMEs who are passionate about supporting their people through change for better results.
We provide value in a range of ways through our CALM product ecosystem including consultancy, workshops, coaching and free digital learning on the CALM hub.
If you’d like to chat with us, we’re always up for an online coffee. Book a slot with us here: https://calendly.com/sarah-calminabox/30min
